The Woman at the Well...Today

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

More Than a Bad Hair Day

We all have had bad days. We all have had the blues, or those 'down' days. However, some of us have had down days that led to depression. That depression can lead to other serious emotional problems and/or mental illness. Those emotional and mental problems can land you in a psychiatric hospital or, worse, a state mental hospital. The ultimate would be to lose your life over what started out as a bad day. That is the progression when we focus solely on the comfort of self. Those bad days could be a 'bad hair' day. Maybe you had the blues because your best friend moved away. Maybe you are depressed because your husband told you he no longer loves you. You begin to obsess over the loss. Thoughts of worthlessness start to take over your mind. You then begin to believe those crazy making thoughts. Yep. Crazy making! You begin to think irrational thoughts. You may think if you went away, no one would miss you. Then the emotional pain gets so hard that you want to get rid of it. You start drinking a bit too much. After awhile, the drinking doesn't seem to do the job, so you tell your doctor about it. He prescribes pills for you. After awhile you need something stronger and stronger, just to help you cope. One day you stop coping. You don't care if you live or die. Actually, you want to die, have tried taking your life, more than once, but you even failed at that. Just when you find yourself at that point of no return, something totally and completely mind blowing happens. Something you could not orchestrate in a thousand years. Why, because it's a supernatural occurrence. It's a phenomenon outside of time and space.

Go inside the mind of one such person, behind locked doors in a state mental hospital. Read deep, dark thoughts from the journal she kept. Experience what she experienced when the bright Light exploded throughout her body, soul and spirit. Experience the wondrous joy that comes from hope fulfilled.

Well, everyone knows I'm referring to self. That's no secret. In fact, nothing about my life is secret (Um, I may have one or two secrets left untold). I have exposed sin and shame to let anyone who will listen and help get this story out, that God is not dead. He is alive, and nothing is impossible for Him. I hurt to see so many women hurting because of mental and emotional illness. They believe they are without hope. That's not true. There is hope for them. I want them to know that. This book is an example of God's hope. I can't imagine my life without Him. I have to share His love, my joy, and his or hers hope.

If you are waiting for God to perform a miracle in your life, before you will believe and trust Him, that won't happen. Unfortunately, for you, you will never believe, if that is the case. God doesn't come on your side. You go on His side, and then He's got your back...forever. When we worship God on His terms, He is more than ready and willing to show off for us. I hope you don't keep putting off giving your life to Christ. This world is rapidly falling apart, and His return really is sooner than we probably know.

For Apple users - did you know my book is on Apple iBooks? You can download it for only $7.99. It's also available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and of course, my publisher, Xulon Press. Don't forget to leave a review (be gentle).

Thanks for 'listening.'

Barbara

Saturday, January 25, 2014

The Woman at the Well...Today. Look for it to come out in Spring 2014. Preview the book on my website. After you read chapter 1, from my website, let me know what you think?

Monday, August 20, 2012
I think what I posted on the Home page could suffice. Maybe, or maybe not. Sometimes I'm not so difinitive. Oh, you noticed! As I was reading in the book of Esther this morning (actually I had finished reading), God showed me something I need to do. I'm just sorry it has taken me this long to hear His voice. Surely He told me to do this earlier than this, and I didn't want to hear it. Maybe that's why I have no memory of it. My, there's that selective memory thing again.

There are some people in my life that I need to ask forgiveness for causing them pain - rather direct or indirect. Do you have someone in your life like that? Doesn't matter if they were directly involved or not. If they were hurt, you (and I) must ask them for forgiveness.

Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.     Matthew 5:23-24

Asking someone to forgive you is never an easy thing. First, it's admitting you were wrong. It's a pride thing that we don't want to admit that. Second, they may not forgive you. Third, your feelings could be hurt. Fourth, your relationship may never be the same. Fifth, that will be a new 'issue' you and the Lord will have to discuss.

No matter the other party's response, I must do what the Word tells me. And...I must do it expecting nothing in return. That will lesson the blow from the smack in the face (hopefully not literally), if there is one. If I receive a warm welcome, that will be a bonus blessing.

...But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.     Romans 5:20-21

Oh, grace, sweet grace!!

Blessings,


Friday, June 15, 2012
It's been exactly 4 weeks today since my dear friend Cheryl, went home to be with Jesus. There have been so many times I've started to pick up the phone to call her and remembered she wouldn't answer. I have lost close relatives, father, brother, mother, husband and a child. Now that I'm getting older I realize more and more that our life is but a breath and a passing shadow.

LORD, what is man, that You take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that You are mindful of him? Man is like a breath; His days are like a passing shadow.     Psalm 144:3-4

This is the vanity of human life, but let us praise God for His goodness. In all this, I will praise His lovingkindness and the fact that He is my fortress. He is my high tower and my deliverer, my shield and the One in whom I take refuge (Psalm 144:2).

A note on the road I'm travelling: Nothing has changed in the direction of ministry. I will continue to wait on the Lord for direction and an open door, a sign, a whisper from Him, His Word, a shout, a confirmation. Whatever He chooses to communicate with, I pray that my spirit is open to receive Him and to know His voice quickly and surely.

 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.     John 10:27

Blessings,

Me

Monday, May 21, 2012
What a weekend. My dear friend, Cheryl Williams went to be with Jesus, and husband #4 passed. I know where Cheryl is, but I'm not sure about husband #4. It was a very abusive marriage. Although he professed Christ with his lips, he didn't live it in his life. I pray he made it.

On my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/womenatthewell8 I mention how death can trigger issues of abandonment. A sense of abandonment doesn’t just come from people who leave us, but can also come when there’s a divorce, separation or death of someone you love. They can also come from a sense of betrayal because of the emotional separation it can bring. In order for the woman at the well to have 5 husbands she, no doubt, had many relationships. Sexual abuse can either produce a very driven life or a very promiscuous life.

Although I don't feel a sense of abandonment from this weekend, it has triggered past feelings of abandonment. Determined to keep my focus on Jesus and what He has and is doing in my life now, I'm happy to say my heart can rejoice today. His mercies are new every morning.

My mourning (don't know what other word would describe my feelings right now) over not being in ministry now is diminishing. I've complained about this long enough. The Lord is showing me that this blog, the Women at the Well website, the Women at the Well Facebook page, as well as the Women at the Well Private Facebook page is just that...ministry. Although I'm not having the classes right now, they are still going on and that's what's important. I want others to know what the Lord can do in lives. Absolutely nothing is too big for God to handle.

Perhaps realizing Cheryl passing at such a young age reminds me I may not have as much time as I think, and I need to use my time wisely. Wasting it is not pleasing to the Lord. To continue on persevering is what He expects and desires. This would be obedience to His will.

Forgive me Lord for complaining and not using the time wisely you've given to me.

Blessings,
Me



Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I told you I entered a writer's contest, right? Well, I didn't win. I didn't even place. Just doing it felt so freeing. It was a validation that I am actually writing my autobiography. Sometimes I think it's not real that I'm writing it. Maybe that's because some of the things I'm writing about seem so distant and "who is this person?" I'm writing about. Does that make sense?


I've not felt well for a while now. That's why I haven't been online much. It's difficult to sit at a computer for hours (even with breaks) when you're in pain and not feeling well. Most days I stay inside. Something else not peculiar to me. Always the one to go at the drop of the hat, now it's wanting to be inside. Maybe it's a safety issue. I'm very comfortable staying in my part of this big house. I call my part the "suite." I have my own living room, bedroom and bath. Doesn't that constitute a suite? And in my living room I have designated a part for my "office." I have Jesus, my son, my daughter-in-law and my 2 beautiful, precious granddaughters. What else do I need?
Okay, confession time: I miss ministry. How many times am I going to tell you that? I must complete that which the Lord gave me to do first. That applies to all His children. I'm telling you; if you don't do that first thing He told you to do, how can you expect Him to give you the next step in your life?

I covet your prayers in finishing my autobiography and the Women at the Well Bible Study.

Shout from the rooftops the goodness of the Lord. For His mercies endure forever!
Blessings,
Me


Sunday, April 8, 2012
The past several weeks have been a time of reflection and diligently seeking the Lord for direction. It is a strange thing not to be in ministry at the church. God is setting me on a new path, which I still am not sure where it will lead. He has reminded me how faithful He is and has been in all my circumstances. And this is no time to think He is less faithful now. In other words, God has my back.

Another thing He made very clear; I am to finish my book. Does that mean I am to publish it? I'm not sure, but I will go in that direction. If one person's life can be changed or encouraged, then it will be well with my soul. Perhaps the Lord will tell me to give the books away. Perhaps He will take me home upon completion. I don't know.

I can tell you that I am very excited about knowing that I am in His will. I really don't need to know what's going to happen next. I would only mess it up. I've had enough of mess-ups in my life. I just pray the rest of my mess-ups will not be as catastrophic as many others I've made or caused.

Writing my life story has been extremely painful and uncomfortable. To write effectively I needed not only to remember the pain, but allow myself to experience and feel the pain again. This would be the only time I would suggest pondering or mulling over and over a painful past. Not recommended, but only on the say-so of Jehovah Nissi (the Lord's Banner over me).

Here's something foreign to me: I entered a writer's contest this week. Two criteria for judging is on writing skills and does my style show through. First, I've never written anything for publication. There's so much right and wrong. Second, I have no idea what style I have, other than inexperienced. The contest deadline is tonight at midnight. I chose to enter my testimony from the state mental hospital and how the Lord miraculous healed me from 30 years of drug and alcohol abuse, major depression, anxiety, and emotional illness. Had to put all that in no more than 750 words. Wow! That was a challenge. The best part about writing that was remembering how the Lord has worked in my life. Remembering that allows me to rest more in the struggles today, knowing He's the same God then, now and forever. Yaaaay, God!!

Thanks for visiting my blog. Pass it along to someone you know, if you like it.

Blessings,
Just Barbara


Sunday, January 29, 2012

It's Sunday evening and my granddaughters have been put to bed so the house is quiet. I just hear the click-click-click of the computer keyboard.

I'm full of energy now, but that's really not a good thing. It takes me all day to gather up the energy I need for the day, and then it's evening. No wonder I stay up too late so many nights of the week. Lord, is this backwards? Would You help me wake up tomorrow morning with the energy I have right now? Aw, Lord You are so good. Whatever You decide, it's alright. And Father, whoever else is out there having trouble sleeping, would You cause them to sleep with the gentle sleep of a baby. Thank You Lord.

There seems to be a bit more light on this road. Why do I say that? I have been having trouble with my computer for the past several days, and late last night and earlier today I wasn't able to use it. My reasoning is that the enemy is upset because of this new road the Lord has me on. Therefore, I must be doing something right. Why else would the enemy attack my computer? I didn't even get frustrated about the computer not working well. Immediately I heard that "still, small voice" tell me that everything is okay and not to worry. Why? Because my King of kings, and Lord of lords has everything under control. You see when we think like that, there is no need to fret. Remember the word tells us be anxious for nothing. Ah, there's my life verses, Philippians 4:6-8.

Waiting for Women at the Well Bible Study book to come back from my editor then I'll submit it to what is called an e-book distributor. Anybody know what that is? I'm learning. Oh, that I would be able to get the study published through a conventional publisher, but from what I've been hearing, that could take a very long time. It isn't that I don't like the long time thing; I want the study to get out there and made available to anybody and everyone on cyberspace. God gave me that study and I believe in it because I believe in God and what He has done, is doing and will do for women through the study. What about you? Have you taken the class? Well, do you believe the Lord is doing a work in women through the study?

Also waiting for return of my book (autobiography). I have trouble calling it an autobiography. That sound so stoic. Reminds me of someone writing their memoirs. Someone either rich, famous or dead, and I'm not any of those. Now this story that I'm telling is where I am having trouble. It has been difficult putting on paper what I have experienced over a lifetime. You know I don't trust my memory, so I don't want to write any falsehoods. However, all of the dates and details had been authenticated by my mother and other reliable people in my life. Hmm, funny that I would call my mother reliable. Well, she was very reliable when it came to details. What a memory she had. Maybe having such a fine memory is not all good. As well as remembering good times and things you could remember what everyone has ever done to you. Gee, I'm glad my memory is lousy. But, in that one could forget the damage done by a wrong choice and turn right back around and make the same wrong choice as before. There must be a balance. God is so smart. Renew your mind. Be renewed in your mind. Doesn't matter what version you use for that Scripture, it means the same thing = Allow the Holy Spirit to clean out your mind and make it fresh; new whenever needed.

I'll keep you posted on the 2 books going to publication. Thanks for tugging along with me. Toot toot! See you later!

Blessings,
Barbara Tennell Rupp



Friday, January 13, 2012

Well, I typed an updated blog for my road much traveled. I thought I saved it, but when I went to preview my most recent posting, it was nowhere to be found. I also realized I didn't have a date on the first blog for this road. Somehow I think the date was before the 9th, but I can't remember exactly. If you know, let me know. I need help with these senior moments.

Update on my road much traveled: My granddaughters are now both in school all day. One in nursery school and the other in preschool. That frees up my days. I still can't see this road the Lord has me on, but that's a good thing. If I could see it, then I would want to control it. Well, I've sort of learned that lesson. Leave the things that God puts into motion alone. He know where He's going and what I need to do is follow Him with a grateful heart. I still am bewildered where we are going, but one thing for sure. He knows what's best for me, and I am content with that. With all the blunders (to put it mildly) I've made in my life, I am thrilled to follow Someone Who knows me so well and loves me in spite of knowing me.

Thanks again for following me on this road much traveled. See you again soon. Oh, if Jesus comes before then, I sure hope to see you in the air. I know I'll be going up...will you?

Blessings,
Barbara Tennell Rupp



Monday, January 9, 2012

I'm on a journey and I want to share it with you as I go along. The Lord is doing a change in my ministry. Perhaps He's doing a change in my life as well. I'm not sure yet. I haven't decided if I'm content with what's happening. Ha! Like I have a choice. I'm not going to rebel against Him, but it is very uncomfortable. Have you had that feeling before? The "...uncomfortable with what God is doing in my life" feeling.

This journey actually began 3 years ago, but I didn't notice it until about a year ago. I'm still in the confused state so I really don't have anything concrete to say about this journey. I can only express my thoughts, my heart, my emotions...my God. I know He has never let me down before. He has never forsaken me. He has never neglected me. He always does what's best for me. I haven't always allowed Him to give me His best, but I want that for my life. I turned 67 January 8. Now that's not old, but whoever knows me knows I have a lot of medical issues that Jehovah Rapha is in control over. When He decides to let go of holding me together, that's when I'll be going home to Him.

I'm trying not to let my age freak me out along with this change of direction in my ministry and/or life, but I have to tell you, it ain't easy. Rest in Him. Wait upon the Lord. Sigh. We've all been there as Believers, and that's a place we don't want to travel. But we must, if we want to learn His way and travel His road.

I have submitted Women at the Well Bible Study to be edited, along with a not-so-complete book about my life before Christ and my life with Christ. He called me to write my story more than 12 years ago. Can you imagine I've been procrastinating putting this story together for that long? I did have to wait for certain people to become deceased, for fear of getting sued. That may sound awful, but there is no need to write a story about oneself if you can't be honest about the contents. And some of the contents needs to include the who's in it.

Thanks for being willing to walk this road with me. If my name passes your mind, won't you lift up a quick prayer for me. I'd love to hear any comments, suggestions, reminders and especially Scriptures, from you.

Our God is Faithful,
Barbara Tennell Rupp